chicknamedchuck

On Wednesday nights, hubby has class until 9pm, so I sat down at the computer with every intention of finishing up that “LA Marathon Race Report”… but “Race Report” makes me think of homework… and homework makes me feel like procrastinating…

So I did what anyone would do three days after running a marathon in a monsoon… I signed up for another marathon, duh.  The 5-Weeks-To-Marathon Challenge wrapped up so well on Sunday that I thought, why not go for it again?!?!  And so I’ll be running the OC Marathon in 37 days, which actually gives me more time than I had for LA because I only had 29 days after I won that bib!

While you’re waiting on the Race Report that I’ll finish tomorrow, I promise, go check out my new page for Future Races that I’m registered for!

Do you ever feel that everything you need to know in life you’ve learned from running?  (Mental note: that could be a fun blog one day…)  I feel like every time I sit down to write about running–just running, I find myself sorting through deep, profound thoughts about the great marathon that is life.

Truth be told, I’ve hit a notably rough patch on my “life marathon.”  Since my last (non-race report) post, I’ve run one 5K, one 10K, one half marathon, and two full marathons.  I PR-ed at the last three of the five races, which should have me over-the-moon, but I’ve got the blues and I don’t think it’s (entirely) the post-marathon blues.

My marathon “high” was abruptly halted when I heard that my 15 year old niece–who has been battling cancer for nearly 9 years–was diagnosed with yet another tumor; this one is deeply embedded in the base of her spine.  She’s maxed on radiation and surgery is not an option because of the near-certain risk of neurological damage.  Historically, chemo has been ineffective against this type of cancer, but it’s the only option, so she’s been admitted to a clinical trial and the hope is that it’ll at least stop the tumor’s growth…

I’m 2200 miles away from my family in Cincinnati, so I feel exceptionally helpless in that I can’t even hug them.  So what do I do with myself when I’m overwhelmed with heartbreak and fear and guilt?  The same thing I do at mile 20 of the marathon.  Just keep going.  I guess.

Before the post-marathon soreness had even fully set in, I was busy searching for my next marathon.  I suppose I could’ve buried myself in a container of ice cream and pounds of chocolate, but instead, I turned to my new buddy, running.  And what do you do after you’ve conquered four marathons?  You conquer them faster, right?  And just like that, the July issue of Runner’s World arrived, I flipped to page 63 and voila!  My next training plan was found.  The headline reads: IT’S ABOUT TIME!  THE PLAN: BREAK 4:00 OR BUST!

My next decision: Which marathon?  I was pretty set on doing the Long Beach International Marathon on 10/17, as well as the Rock ‘n’ Roll Las Vegas Marathon on 12/5 BUT when I brought it up with my husband, I got some mixed feedback.  This fall/winter is going to be extremely busy for us with 3 weddings to attend (2 across the country), not to mention the holidays. Oh, and our jobs (bah).  Plus, these marathons would require travel, hotel stays and finding our way around cities that are completely new to us.  I’ve already started researching travel and accomodations for Long Beach and while there’s a nagging part of me that feels utterly selfish about the fact that running, marathoning & marathon coordination is most likely NOT helping my niece and family…  It IS helping me.  Yes, it’s a distraction, but it’s a productive one and it’s helping me cope.  Take that away and… well, just the thought of it makes me feel pretty icky…

I’m going to just let it be for a while.  If hubby really needs a break from running and/or marathoning and doesn’t want to travel to LB or Vegas, I think I’ll pick one and go it alone.  Either way, this is going to be a good challenge for me to keep running and keep training with no one pushing me but myself.

You could call me an extremist… or obsessive-compulsive… or maybe I just have an addictive personality… or the frequent tendency to go overboard with things I enjoy (but doesn’t everyone?!).  Whatever it is-this personality trait, tendency, character flaw, whatever-it makes me do things to the extreme and when I get on a kick with something, it often spirals out of control.

Recently, I picked up Twilight and devoured it, followed by the rest of the series and now I’m reading every vampire series I can get my hands on, which is incredibly random and ridiculous and uncharacteristic for me because I haven’t been interested in fiction since I was a member of the Babysitter’s Club book club in… oh… 4th grade!  All of a sudden, I’ve swapped health publication for young adult sci-fi.  Weird (not to mention, embarassing!).

In college, I was all about popcorn.  I’d eat a bag of popcorn in place of a meal AT LEAST once a day, every day.  All I wanted was popcorn!  There was a span of time when I was constantly eating frozen broccoli with ketchup.  Before I was diagnosed with celiac disease, I would buy loaves of bread, toasting slice after slice after slice.  I’ve gone through kicks with Edy’s Slow Churned ice cream, creamsicles, iceberg lettuce salads with salsa, dill pickle spears, oatmeal, lentils-I could go on and on, but you get the picture.  I find something that tastes exceptionally good and just can’t get enough of it.  I’ll eat it morning, noon and night until one day, I stumble across something new that I simply can’t get enough of.

My extremism is obvious when you look at my eating patterns, but it also plays into my hobbies and mannerisms, such as my current reading kick.  In high school, I was all about art, living and breathing for one project after another.  I was in the art studio well past school hours and actually developed insomnia because I was so engrossed in my work.  And since then, I’ve scarely picked up a sketchpad.  I went through a religious phase, an online blogging phase, a gym-rat phase, an earring phase, a cleaning phase (I’m sad that one didn’t stick).  I used to chew on my hair (yes, my hair), then my lip, then cracked my knuckles, then my back, and unlike people who have nervous habits of doing those things, for me, I simply stopped out-of-the-blue and quite easily.  Again, weird.

I don’t know whether this whatever-you’d-call-it is a “bad” thing or if I should embrace it and look forward to what-in-the-world could possibly come next… but there’s a huge part of me that worries that this extremism prevents me from being well-balanced.  More specifically, I worry that running is another one of my short-term obsessions.  Currently, I’m signed up to run a half-marathon, followed by two marathons within the next eight weeks and while that’s certainly ENOUGH to focus on (Lord knows I’m barely keeping up with my training as it is!) I STILL find myself constantly searching for races to sign up for.  Truthfully, I would LOVE to go sign up for all of them right this very second, but I’m afraid of my husband’s reaction.  Even more than that, I’m afraid of burning out, losing interest and consequently, having to add running to the long list of temporary passions that I’ve lived and breathed for 24/7 only to find myself abruptly over it and onto the next thing.  Maybe the next thing will be something as wonderful and exciting as running, but I’m skeptical.  I don’t want to gamble with what seems to be my truest passion yet.  Art, vampire novels, popcorn–those things can phase in and out of my life, but running is so much more important.

Whether or not to sign up for all of the wonderful races that I’m hoping to indulge in this year… After writing this blog, I know the answer SHOULD be no… but I still wanna!!!!!!!!

Maybe just one more…