The LA Marathon countdown officially stands at… 25 days. Yowzers! I’m super duper excited and just a skosh nervous. I ran 14 miles on Sunday and squeaked out another 6 on Monday (which was a much-needed holiday/day off work that I savored like the last day of summer break). 3-day weekends and 4-day workweeks are A-Mazing. Love love love them. So when I got to work today, realized there are no holidays in the month of March, I immediately submitted a PTO request for Monday, 3/21 (the day after the LA Marathon), so now I’m looking forward to that weekend EVEN MORE!
Anyhow, back to the running and this untrained, impromptu marathon that’s about to happen…
(Gulp!)
I don’t have a training plan, really. My #1 plan is to run what I want according to how my body feels. I’m merely on Week #4 of an 18-week training plan for the Rock ‘n’ Roll San Diego Marathon on 6/5, so now I’m just kinda sorta sticking to that plan and making the long runs longer. I’m really happy with Sunday’s 14 and I’m gearing up for 16-18 this weekend. Then, I’ll “taper”! It sounds insane to be tapering when I haven’t really been training (well, at least not training like I’ve ever trained for a marathon before), but the most important thing is to keep my body healthy.
Even I’m not stupid enough to try cramming months of training into a few short weeks.
“If you can do it, do it. If you think you can’t, you won’t.
“You don’t have to be fast. But you’d better be fearless.”
“Pain is a part of life. Misery is an option.” (-from Mom)
Right now, I’m really feeling the last one. Live well.
Generally, I’m not a vengeful person… but, I’ve seen a lot of crappy hands dealt to my loved ones and that makes me mad–like, shake your fist at the sky screaming Why, God, why mad. And while I know it’s not God–at least it’s not my feeling that God inflicts the suffering–I know life’s just not fair.
Life’s not fair. And the proof is all over the place. There’s cancer and heartbreak and war and so much other crud in this world and it makes me mad. So I deal with it by running.
Jessie’s at the hospital today with her oncologist and “pain management team.” I can’t imagine having pain so bad that it requires a whole team of people to help me out… Again you have it: Life’s not fair. I cried to Jared last night that I don’t know what I’m doing running this LA Marathon in honor of Jessie because frankly, running is for me. It benefits me far more than it can ever benefit anyone else and it certainly won’t take her pain away. It won’t cure her cancer. It won’t pay my sister’s bills or, really, solve ANYTHING! So why the heck do I bother?
I guess it goes back to Nancy Cook’s quote: “If you can do it, do it.” I feel guilty about my inability to take away Jessie’s pain, but I have the ability to push through my pain, to be fearless and live well and it seems so small and miniscule and meaningless, but I’ll run 26.2 miles with nothing but positive thoughts for Jessie and my amazing sister, the Mommy Warrior, as well as her team of supporters.
Yes, it’s predominantly for me and I don’t have delusions that my lil pumpkin really cares all that much about my running endeavors (she’s 16 years old and probably busy painting her nails and watching Cake Boss and putting together her second dream wedding scrapbook), but it’s my crack at revenge.
I’m sure I’ve written about this a gazillion times, but I’ll never forget the day Jessie longingly sighed: “I wish I could run and play like a normal kid.” The next day, I started running. Because it’s a privilege.
So yeah, this blog got away from me a bit, but you get the gist. Sure, I’ve got some nerves about running 26.2 miles with very, very little training and five months of nagging from a fussy IT band, but these issues ain’t no thang. It’s all about living well. And if you can do it, by golly, do it.
Love it! You will do great! I love these 2 quotes!"You don't have to be fast. But you'd better be fearless."(-Christopher McDougall, Born To Run) "Pain is a part of life. Misery is an option." (-from Mom)
I didn't have the words last night, but today, and after reading your blog, I understand that even though Jessie may not be directly affected by you dedicating your run to her in physical strength, you are DEFINITELY reaching out to her through the "heartline express" (as Aunt Sheila calls it). Know that all the positivity you put onto this journey IS reflected in the way you live and the people you interact with. Keep the hope alive.